As I was looking for inspiration for today’s post, I came across this quote by Ella Fitzgerald. Doing what we are inspired to do usually also comes with love and brings us great joy. I just returned from viewing an exhibition of art by Ansel Adams and Georgia O’Keefe: two artists, different media, similar subjects. Clearly these two great artists were filled with love for what they do and incredible inspiration. Just viewing their work is inspirational. Through the legacy of their artwork, they can continue to inspire us long after their passing. May we all be so blessed to leave such a legacy.

Maybe we can not all create great, lasting works of art that will be seen and cherished by millions long after we leave this earth. But, maybe we can inspire one or two people, who will inspire others. Like I spoke about a couple of posts back, there is a ripple effect from our actions. I hope that each one of you is inspired to do at least one thing every day that brings you great joy, and in so doing, bring inspiration to others.

How inspired is your life? Hopefully, you are fortunate enough to do work you enjoy and time to follow your inspirations. That is as it should be. Or, have you put your dreams and passions on hold until the kids are grown, or until you have some free time? There is no time like the present to take one small step to do that thing which you know inspires you. You say you don’t know what inspires you? Then, you may need to stop the chaos of your day-to-day life to think about this one. But, I’m sure you will feel it hit you like a spark of energy and make you smile. It is that thing that nags at your heart strings and you have been trying to ignore.

When you know what it is that inspires you, then go ahead and do it. Who cares what other people think? Do not worry about whether you are good at it or if it will be a “success” (whatever that means.) If it is something you love to do, enjoy the process of doing it; take a leap. (You might not want to quit your day job quite yet, however!)

Today is Labor Day: the official end of the summer season. As people get back to school and return from summer vacations, it may be a good time to find that class you want to take, or go out and buy those painting supplies. Start today: find and follow your inspiration and you can’t go wrong.

Namaste.

As I thought about what to write this week, I kept coming back to the story of Jaycee Lee Dugard and Phillip Garrido. I really did not want to bring any more energy to this horrific tale, however it seemed disingenuous to ignore it. The 18 year secret came to light because of the intuition of a woman who met Garrido and his 2 young daughters. Garrido’s neighbors apparently also questioned his backyard tents and odd behaviors. Unfortunately they believed the police were following up and if anything was amiss it would be discovered. Intuition and suspicions were dismissed and “logic” took over. 

There must be a lesson here for all of us. It is such a sad story for all the people involved, including the neighbors who I imagine are wondering how they did not “see it”.  Maybe the lesson is to remind us of the power of our intuition: that gut feeling that is so strong it is difficult to ignore. Never again ignore your “gut” suspicion. I think mothers are probably more in touch with their intuition than anyone else. 

An AP article wrote that Garrido arrived at UC Berkeley with his two daughters to arrange a religious event on campus. Apparently the woman he met with did not ignore her intuition. The article states:

“There were some things about him and the kids that were really alarming, that just didn’t settle right with me,” said Lisa Campbell, the department’s manager of special events, who previously worked as a police officer in Chicago and a background investigator for the Los Angeles Police Department.”  

Maybe it was her police training that taught her to believe her suspicions and act on them. Thank goodness she did so.

Shower your children with love, not with worry. Worry will not keep them safe.

Let us learn to pay attention to our intuition as did Lisa Campbell. Take care of your neighbors, even those you may not know very well. Watch, listen, and care about all those around you. Spread love. We all need it.

Namaste

Practice a random act of kindness. Maybe it is smiling and saying thank you to the grocery clerk. Maybe it is paying the bridge toll for the car behind you. Maybe it is stopping and telling a child how wonderful he/she is today. Maybe it is calling your mom just to say hello. Maybe it is bringing a co-worker flowers “just because”.

Sometimes it is the little things we do, those things that come naturally and easily to us, that have a big impact on someone else. Often times those little things go unnoticed by us, but are significant to the recipient of our actions. Of course, this applies to both our positive intentions/actions as well as those that have a negative impact. So be careful. I think how we live our life is an important part of our life’s purpose. Our purpose in life does not necessarily have to be big and powerful. I like this piece from Work Less Live More by Bob Clyatt:

“Different Ways of Giving Back:

… The good news here is that if you are simply pursuing what you love to do and being a decent human being, then you are probably going to be able to do more for society than 99% of the poor souls out there who are heaving themselves into work they hate and trying over time to fulfill somebody else’s view of who they should be.

… Let’s say you are an engineer in semi-retirement, spending your days tooling around in your shop and fiddling with stuff you find interesting…. you are probably exuding a calm contentedness that is inspirational to those around you. As a result, young people in your neighborhood … may grow up being able to point to at least one adult who is genuinely content. That can have a major impact on the lives of those young people for decades to come. Even just being a good friend and readily available to your older parents or extended family is a way to give back.”

So, remember that even the smallest of actions can have a ripple effect and spread: whether an act of kindness or an act of anger. I think it is much better to spread kindness! Smile, breathe deeply, and practice random acts of kindness.

Namaste.

Last week I spent 5 days at Asilomar State Beach & Conference Grounds at Monterey Bay on the California coast attending a conference/retreat. Old redwood cabins, no televisions, no newspapers, and internet access only in the main lodge. I was with good friends in a beautiful location. It was a great get-away from it all. Amazingly, I survived a few days without hearing about the world news. And, oh, it was so relaxing! You should try it some time.

The beach at Monterey Bay is spectacular. The morning fog was so thick it left dew drops on the spider webs making them look like moss hanging off the branches. The crisp salty air, thick fog, and the sound of the waves enveloped me. As I walked along the boardwalk on the sand dunes, I came to a view-point bench inscribed with a saying: “Rest, muse, count your blessings.” It was just the message I needed. At that moment, watching the waves and birds and feeling the foggy dew drops on my eyelashes, I felt like I was in heaven. The moment could not have been more perfect. There were many blessings to count, indeed.

It is important to take time every so often, at least once a day, to count your blessings. So much of our time we spend “counting our griefs”. Shift your perspective and count your blessings. It is also good to stop, unplug from all the technology, and reflect on the present moment. Can you go an hour or two without your smart phone? Believe it or not, it is possible. You should try it sometime.

The past couple of weeks I talked about paying attention to the choices you make all day long. How did that go for you? When you take time to get out in nature (turn off your phone) and absorb the quiet, you will be able to reflect on where you are in life. When you are quiet, you might be amazed at the thoughts and ideas that bubble to the surface. Maybe it will be a new inspiration to lead you to new choices. Spend some time being quiet to allow you to listen to that still, small voice. You will eventually hear it. You should try it sometime.

Life is good. At least for right now.

Namaste.

Think about where you are now and the future of your dreams. If you are not happy with how things are going for you, it is time to take a look at how you perceive your options. The following is an excerpt from my book, Stop the Stress Habit. 

According to Eckhart Tolle, author of The Power of Now, if you are not happy with your situation or life right now, these are your options:

1. Get out of the situation and accept the circumstances that arise from that change.
2. Implement changes to create the situation you would like.
3. Surrender to total acceptance of the way things are without judgment and without complaining.

In every situation, and for every response, you always have a choice. Sometimes you don’t like the consequences of some of those choices, so it appears as if you do not have a choice. However, you must learn to recognize that you always have choices in everything you do and for every decision you make. One given choice may result in consequences you are not willing to accept, so you do not select this choice, but you always have choices. Always remember that in some instances making one decision now does not prevent you from making a different choice later.

Think about your current life situation. Is it how you would like it to be right now? If not, what are you not satisfied with? Select one specific situation and answer each of the following questions:

1. If you change the situation, what are the circumstances that will arise from that change? Are you willing to accept those circumstances? Who can help you with the consequences that arise when you make this change?
2. What changes can you implement right now to begin to create the situation you would like?
3. If you are not willing to make any changes now, then can you surrender to total acceptance of the way things are without judgment and without complaining? Change your thoughts to focus only on the good aspects of this situation. Remember, making one choice now does not prevent making changes later. Consider: Is it safe or healthy for you to choose not to make a change now?

 I hope this helps you find the freedom to choose the path to your dreams.

Namaste.

Do you ever go through life on auto-pilot? From the moment you decide to get out of bed to the moment you choose to go to sleep you make a kazillion choices, or decisions, every day. Most things do not really seem like “choices” but every action you take, or do not take, is making a choice. Every choice leads us down one path or another: the people we meet, the opportunities that present themselves, and how we spend our days. Have you thought enough about the life you want in the future to be sure the choices you make today will get you there?

Start to pay attention to what you choose to do throughout the day. What would happen if you made a different choice? It might be as simple as choosing to take a different route to work in the morning. Who knows, you might see something that inspires you or meet someone new. Take an opportunity to make a different choice than usual for some event, or events, during the day and see what happens. Reflect on this for a few days and next week I’ll continue on this topic.

Namaste!

Do you ever feel like you have way too much to do and not enough time to do it? Feeling overwhelmed by a “to do” list that seems like it will take more time than is available to you can lead to stress and sleepless nights.  Unfortunately the energy we expend on being stressed does nothing to help get anything done. In order to avoid the stress of “overwhelm” the first thing to do is to take a deep breath and look at things from a new perspective. As I say in my book, Stop the Stress Habit: change your perceptions and improve your health, it is not the situation itself, but rather your perception of that situation that creates your stress. To avoid a stress reaction to an overwhelming amount of work or other time demands, it is necessary to change your perception of those demands. Easier said than done? Well, let’s take a look at where to start.

Stressing over your workload or other commitments while you are commuting or all night when trying to sleep never makes any difference in the actual situation. Just thinking about work to be done and “stressing” about it does not minimize the workload, nor does it get the work completed. You may think the sense of urgency that is created helps you to work faster and stay focused. Some people say that stress is helpful in that way. However, losing sleep or getting sick because of the stress created by a large amount of work or too many demands on your time is not helpful. Avoid telling yourself anything resembling, “I’m so stressed out. I can’t believe how much I have to do!”

            Anytime you are feeling overwhelmed by too much to do in too little time, make a list and schedule each item on your calendar. Once you see it all written out and scheduled, you do not have to continually figure out what to do next and worry if there is enough time to do it all. When you accomplish the tasks scheduled for one day, take some time to relax knowing that there is time scheduled to complete all your obligations. If you are still feeling overwhelmed after scheduling all your tasks, consider the following:

• You may find you need to arrange for new deadlines, scale down on the project, or seek assistance in order to meet the deadlines.
• Look at your calendar far in advance. Consider calling people to negotiate deadlines if necessary. If you have committed to something with a future deadline that you know will be difficult for you to honor without increasing your stress level, change the deadline to a mutually agreeable date.
• If you have committed to too much, determine if there are any commitments you can relinquish. If you choose this option, make sure you relinquish your commitment early enough for someone else to be found to complete those tasks.
• Delegate whatever tasks you can to other people. Remember, there is more than one way to do something. Even if others would complete the task differently than you, let them do whatever they can to help you—and be happy with the result.
• Look at your workload as a challenge—not as an oppressive obstacle. By scheduling things ahead of time, you will know there is an abundance of time available to accomplish all that you need to do.  If you find there are things you are unable to fit into your schedule, then perhaps those are things you need to eliminate or delegate. Make your schedule realistic.

Although it may feel like a completely inaccurate statement, tell yourself there is an abundance of time available to complete everything. Even if you don’t believe it, just say it is so. Say this out loud: “There is an abundance of time available to me to complete all I need to do.” Vocalizing this statement helps to counteract your head chatter and thoughts that you don’t have enough time and helps to convince yourself that there is an abundance of time. Try it!

Namaste

We all have to face challenges to grow; we need to be a bit vulnerable to expand. As Mary Reynolds Thompson writes (July 2009 newsletter), “In order to grow, snakes have to shed their old skins, exposing the new and vulnerable skin beneath. In order to grow spiritually, we will need to do the same. … a snake, its eyes covered with bluish white scales, enters its moment of transformation blind. What if we were willing to face our own future this vulnerable and unseeing? What if this was the real test of faith?”

I think The Rolling Stones were right when they wrote: “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you just might find you’ll get what you need.”  Life often throws us curve balls. We usually get exactly what we need to grow and live life more fully.

On Memorial Day, I wrote about having an attitude of gratitude. I’ll repeat that here today: Create a new habit of focusing on your blessings and shifting to a constant perspective of gratitude. By focusing on gratitude, the worries and stressors in your life begin to look less overwhelming. With a shift in perspective, you will begin to feel better physically. By changing your focus to the positive things in your life, you will then be open to seeing new opportunities and solutions to your problems.

If the 24/7 bad news is getting to you. Turn it off. Try going cold turkey without listening to, or reading, any media about bad news for 3 days. After all, it’s summertime. Life is good. If anything of real significance happens, I’m sure your friends will fill you in. The world will continue to turn, the sun will rise, and battles will continue to be fought whether you tune in to the news or not. So, take a break. Breathe. Enjoy the day. Take a “good news only” vacation! You deserve it.

Namaste.

“Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” This is habit #5 in Stephen Covey’s book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.  Learn this habit, and you will go a long way in improving communication in all of your relationships: parents, significant others, children, friends, enemies, co-workers. 

Seek first to understand. That means staying quiet and listening. Let the other person complete their story or explain their point of view before you speak. Stay quiet for a bit. Seek to understand their point of view first. An important point to remember is that understanding does not mean agreement. Just because you are able to listen long enough to really understand a person’s perspective on an issue does not mean you agree with them. Remember that fact and it will help you go a long way in keeping conversations out of emotional escalation. Listen and understand, but you do not necessarily have to agree with them. 

Then, seek to be understood. Now that you have listened to the other person and they feel you understand them, you can then begin to share your point of view. Just seek to be understood, but know you do not have to convince the other person you are “right”. Before you get into a heated argument, think to yourself, “Does it really matter if I convince this person that my perspective is ‘right’?” What would happen if you just stopped the debate, silently agreeing to disagree. What would happen if you just listened to their point of view and left it at that? 

I have learned that many times it is best to just let someone else speak their point of view, whether I agree with it or not. Then, just let it be. Other times, I listen, then share my point of view clarifying that I understand it is different from their point of view. I no longer make it my mission to convince someone that my perspective is right. Because there often is no right or wrong, just differing points of view. 

I get along great with my parents, with the exception of politics. In the past, whenever we started discussing politics, I would get very upset and emotions would flare, ruining an otherwise very nice visit. After incorporating Stephen Covey’s habit #5 into my life, I am now able to listen and understand my parents’ point of view without getting emotionally involved. I just listen to them and no longer feel the need to share my point of view or try to convince them to change their perspective; I know that understanding does not mean agreement. Our visits now stay calm and enjoyable for everyone, especially me! 

Practice the following steps in your conversations with people and see how things seem to go much more smoothly when you “seek first to understand”:

1)      Stop talking and let the other person finish speaking. Avoid cutting in and wanting to share your ideas before they have completed their story. Listen.

2)      Let the other person know you listened and understand their point of view. Maybe repeat a few of their points so they are confident that you understand.

3)      Remember that understanding does not mean agreement! You can understand someone and still disagree with their point of view.

4)      Share your story and your point of view. But remember that it is not necessary to change the person’s mind so they agree with you.

5)      Remember that often there is no right or wrong, just different points of view. 

Practice these steps of “seeking first to understand” in all your relationships. I think you will discover, as I have, that life flows much more peacefully.

Namaste

Our culture has such an obsession with youth: avoid getting wrinkles, cover up grey hair; out with the old and in with the young. My hairdresser told me if I dyed my hair and cover up all my grey I would look seven years younger. Seven years. Why would I want to look 7 years younger? I do not get it. Maybe if I was applying for a job, or employed in some profession where youth rules, I would want to look as young as possible. But, since that is not the case, I am perfectly content looking and being the age I am.

If we are fortunate, we all get older. Aging can not be avoided. One of my favorite books, Growing Old is Not for Sissies by Etta Clark, contains photographs of senior athletes: fit and “old”. I do not mind getting older as long as I remain fit and active. The combination of exercise, healthy eating, staying involved in life, and minimizing stress is the other part of the “Fountain of Youth”.  When people ask me why I exercise, I tell them I am training for my old age!

It is important to train your body, mind, and spirit in order to be at your best with each passing year. It is amazing how fast time flies. Why worry about each new wrinkle? Focus on how young you are compared to people 20 years older than you! You only have today. Yesterday is past. What choices are you making today to help you age gracefully? Remember, no matter how old you are now, there will be a time when you think, “How young I was then.”

Stop worrying about getting older. Enjoy yourself today! Welcome to the Fountain of Youth!

Namaste